I rant sometimes :L
3/7/2018
welp, another long day at the internship, but we made it. I managed to pull off 15 hours exactly for this week, 3 hours then 2 hours then 10 full hours today. thankfully this means I'm not only about 35 hours behind where I need to be but my plan is to essentially force myself into finishing this internship quickly.
I thankfully was able to speak with the marketing director for the club today and that for sure benefited me on my journey. I feel so noobish and weak when speaking to people who are happy and successful in life, I feel as if I'm so far behind, which I am. as I always mention, I don't live with any regrets nor am I truly unhappy but I am unhappy with where I am and with my current situation, I want more in life.
this unhappiness and desire for more only motivates me to keep working harder. I keep being reminded of my age and to remember to enjoy life but honestly I don't want to do anything other than work right now. and this feeling honestly isn't the same as the typical thought about young people, I truly feel as if I have the responsibility to myself to keep going and do better for myself.
anyways, the talk with the marketer from my internship has led me to rethink what I'm doing and how I'm doing it; how I'm approaching my quest to becoming a marketer. I'm so thankful for her time and she even offered to maintain contact and occasionally send me tips and resources to help with my journey.
ugh, 15 hours and Jesus it was so difficult. it wasn't difficult to do per say, there just wasn't much that I did. my supervisor does not need an intern and/or I am just not a good intern which sounds more correct in my opinion but honestly I am not making any real progress with this internship. I honestly don't mind cleaning their facility and doing more practical things like talking to people and watching people play tennis but I really could be better using this time 😅
anyways, I always complain so here comes the good stuff.
I literally had the new go-pro (apeman action camera, much cheaper) and it's accessories in my amazon cart yesterday with a grand total of about $115 dollars and it would've been here by this Friday. I ultimately talked myself out of it, I've already invested so much into this business and my YouTube channel so why continue to invest when I'm honestly not working as hard as I could/should be.
I was so happy though, I had so many ideas running through my head as to how I would've used the camera. in fact, I was planning to go out on Friday when it came in the mail to film a new video but even without this camera, I will continue making awesome videos.
I'm so tired though, always am unfortunately. as I've mentioned before, I don't take care of myself as I should. I've been putting life off for so long as school has pretty much been my life all 23 of these years thus far. I really can't even remember the last time I've really done anything else and the unfortunate story I have to share is that my friend is (sounds) quite depressed and annoyed with life. I can't say that I blame him or can't relate. I'm so thankful for my friend and business partner (if you've watched my YouTube videos you would know him) as he introduced me to awesome cars including sports cars. My love of expensive cars truly is my biggest motivation right now.
But I will be giving my best effort towards taking care of my myself for now on, I will be trying to enjoy the moment more, and to spend more time with friends and family. I was actually having a similar conversation with my supervisor earlier today about appreciating what we have which I honestly do, I just have a high hunger for more.
I just find it so sad that we have this type of upbringing for so many young kids, life has literally gone by like a blur thus far, I often times can't even remember events from the past. and for what? a college degree, a "universal" highly needed academic education, a need to be social with other kids 😕
ehh, life is crazy. people die everyday, bad things happen, life just goes on and some how some way we are taught and forced to just be stagnant in school, whatever...
thanks for reading
welp, another long day at the internship, but we made it. I managed to pull off 15 hours exactly for this week, 3 hours then 2 hours then 10 full hours today. thankfully this means I'm not only about 35 hours behind where I need to be but my plan is to essentially force myself into finishing this internship quickly.
I thankfully was able to speak with the marketing director for the club today and that for sure benefited me on my journey. I feel so noobish and weak when speaking to people who are happy and successful in life, I feel as if I'm so far behind, which I am. as I always mention, I don't live with any regrets nor am I truly unhappy but I am unhappy with where I am and with my current situation, I want more in life.
this unhappiness and desire for more only motivates me to keep working harder. I keep being reminded of my age and to remember to enjoy life but honestly I don't want to do anything other than work right now. and this feeling honestly isn't the same as the typical thought about young people, I truly feel as if I have the responsibility to myself to keep going and do better for myself.
anyways, the talk with the marketer from my internship has led me to rethink what I'm doing and how I'm doing it; how I'm approaching my quest to becoming a marketer. I'm so thankful for her time and she even offered to maintain contact and occasionally send me tips and resources to help with my journey.
ugh, 15 hours and Jesus it was so difficult. it wasn't difficult to do per say, there just wasn't much that I did. my supervisor does not need an intern and/or I am just not a good intern which sounds more correct in my opinion but honestly I am not making any real progress with this internship. I honestly don't mind cleaning their facility and doing more practical things like talking to people and watching people play tennis but I really could be better using this time 😅
anyways, I always complain so here comes the good stuff.
I literally had the new go-pro (apeman action camera, much cheaper) and it's accessories in my amazon cart yesterday with a grand total of about $115 dollars and it would've been here by this Friday. I ultimately talked myself out of it, I've already invested so much into this business and my YouTube channel so why continue to invest when I'm honestly not working as hard as I could/should be.
I was so happy though, I had so many ideas running through my head as to how I would've used the camera. in fact, I was planning to go out on Friday when it came in the mail to film a new video but even without this camera, I will continue making awesome videos.
I'm so tired though, always am unfortunately. as I've mentioned before, I don't take care of myself as I should. I've been putting life off for so long as school has pretty much been my life all 23 of these years thus far. I really can't even remember the last time I've really done anything else and the unfortunate story I have to share is that my friend is (sounds) quite depressed and annoyed with life. I can't say that I blame him or can't relate. I'm so thankful for my friend and business partner (if you've watched my YouTube videos you would know him) as he introduced me to awesome cars including sports cars. My love of expensive cars truly is my biggest motivation right now.
But I will be giving my best effort towards taking care of my myself for now on, I will be trying to enjoy the moment more, and to spend more time with friends and family. I was actually having a similar conversation with my supervisor earlier today about appreciating what we have which I honestly do, I just have a high hunger for more.
I just find it so sad that we have this type of upbringing for so many young kids, life has literally gone by like a blur thus far, I often times can't even remember events from the past. and for what? a college degree, a "universal" highly needed academic education, a need to be social with other kids 😕
ehh, life is crazy. people die everyday, bad things happen, life just goes on and some how some way we are taught and forced to just be stagnant in school, whatever...
thanks for reading
Comments
Post a Comment